Damaged

“I want to have my collection of masks, and I don’t even want to let anyone know what other masks I have.”  A friend in small group was being brutally honest about his proclivity towards hypocrisy.  I admired his vulnerability because I have quite my array of masks that I am learning to recognize and to surrender.

I am damaged and I don’t want you to know
Under bandages are wounds I’ll never show
I dress them well before you come around
And they’re wrapped up till you go
Cause I am damaged and I don’t want you to know

There are many pictures hung up on my wall
And I have let you think that you have seen them all
But I take some down before you come around
It’s propaganda, yeah I know
But I am damaged and I don’t want you to go

Read the inside and you’ll find some rotten boards
So I paint the outside with only major chords
And I won’t lie, but I’ll hide things
In the basement down below
Cause I am damaged and I don’t want you to know
Yes I am damaged and I don’t want you to know

As the Gospel reading from Sunday points out, “Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.”  This truth is both terrifying and relieving – terrifying because I am still afraid of letting people down yet relieving because deception is both hard and loveless work.

Almighty God, to you our hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid.  Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit that we may worship you and worthily magnify your holy name through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

(lyrics by Fiction Family…go to the blog on the church’s website to hear the actual song)