Rector’s Update: Grief.
On Sunday, as I listed out the ways our world is being shaken, the ways the tremors can sometimes be felt more distinctly, I wasn’t anticipating that 2 days later, an 18 year old young man would take a gun to an elementary school and kill 19 children and 2 teachers in a small town between San Antonio and the border of Mexico. I wasn’t ready for that shaking. I wasn’t expecting a ‘notification’ on my phone of this evil as I finished lunch and walked into a meeting. I wasn’t anticipating how my heart would wrench and my stomach would lurch as the world was shaken, yet again. Evil. Grief.
Dear, dear church,
As you walk through the tremors of this day and the staggering of your soul, I offer your four sets of words to imagine and articulate your grief: a psalm, a prayer, a poem, and a song.
May the Lord give you grace to pray honestly and specifically as we condemn this evil and the means by which it happened. This is not the way it’s supposed to be.
A Psalm
How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
(Psalm 13)
A Prayer
O Lord, you who abhor those who murder the innocent, be not deaf to our bitter cries, we pray, and do not abandon us to our pain this day.
Hear our raging words of protest, O God of Jacob, heed our groans for justice, and meet us in this lowly and desperate place.
Awake, Lord!
Rouse yourself!
Deliver us from evil, for your name’s sake, so that we might witness your might to save and your power to heal.
We pray this in the name of our [only] Fortress and Refuge. Amen.
(written by, The Rev. Dr. W. David O. Taylor)
A Poem
Talking to Grief, by Denise Levertov, from Poems 1972-1982
Ah, grief, I should not treat you
like a homeless dog
who comes to the back door
for a crust, for a meatless bone.
I should trust you.
I should coax you
into the house and give you
your own corner,
a worn mat to lie on,
your own water dish.
You think I don’t know you’ve been living
under my porch.
You long for your real place to be readied
before winter comes. You need
your name,
your collar and tag. You need
the right to warn off intruders,
to consider my house your own
and me your person
and yourself
my own dog.
A Song
Shane and Shane have given us a beautiful gift with their project on the psalms. This rendition of Psalm 13 chooses to not musically enter the deep pathos of the lyrics. You can tap your feet to it. It feels almost too ‘light’. As it is, there may be a way for it to lodge itself in your mind as you feed the kids, walk the dog, clean the dishes, make the bed… A soundtrack of grief as we live our mundane moments.
How long O Lord will tragedy happen in our midst?
May we not grow numb and indifferent.
May our prayers be regular and insistent.
Bring your justice, Lord, and change the direction of murder and evil for which we have settled.
-David
P.S. Covid cases are rising in Arlington. We say ‘How Long?’ to that as well. Friendly reminder that if you have symptoms which indicate you might be sick, please wear a mask at church and please consider joining us for worship on our YouTube channel. We will miss seeing you in person and we will pray for you to be healthy, strong and back with us in the sanctuary soon. Let us know if you need prayer or assistance, here.
