Yesterday I posted a blog about lies we consume about sex. Today I will mention 4 truths.
Before I do, let me give a shout out to a blog that is thinking deeply about these issues. It is called fast.pray One of the moderators is Connally Gilliam who is a tremendous resource for women who would like to talk more about these things. Also, Restoration’s own Erin Bair has great thoughts about these things. If you are a woman and looking to process sexuality, singleness, marriage, faithfulness to Jesus in this world, Erin and Connally are both great resources. Drop them a line.
If you are a dude, I am happy to speak truth to ya. I can also point you in the direction of great men at Restoration who would walk alongside you. No one needs to be alone in this.
4 Truths about sex
- Sex is the deliberate choice to serve your spouse. It is not a right. It is a gift. Marriage is a choice to lay down your life for someone who is as bad as you are and then to love them for the rest of your life. Sex is the gift you give them, not a right that you demand.
- Your deepest need is for relationship and intimacy, not sex. Relationship is the way we image God. Relationship and intimacy take work with another human being. The risk of telling a story. The intentionality of listening and reflecting back what you hear. The joy of being understood. The comfort of empathy. The courage to be known. These satisfy deep longings within us as well. We need intimacy, but we often settle for a cheap counterfeit.
- Your body can experience pleasure that is not sexual. We should receive pleasure through our body, and we don’t just have one outlet– sex. Nonsexual touch, walking barefoot through the grass, enjoying the taste and smell of food, exercising. Put down your computer, go outside, and realize that there is more to you and more to this planet…
- You need to realize that life is not fundamentally about ‘getting it’— be that ‘it’ sex, marriage, community, meaningful work, etc. It’s about Giving one’s self (life, heart, soul, body, etc.) to God for his purposes—be those purposes to include sex in marriage or not—for fruitfulness and his glory.