12 Comments

  1. Mary V
    July 2, 2013 @ 12:26 pm

    Great post David! So true!

    Reply

  2. Drew
    July 2, 2013 @ 12:36 pm

    One of the significant things I learned from you! Thanks for the reminder.

    What made you think to post on this topic? 😉

    Reply

  3. davidmartinhanke
    July 2, 2013 @ 12:52 pm

    Drew! Nice job asking the next question…

    Reply

  4. Erica C.
    July 2, 2013 @ 1:02 pm

    So important, so true and often so tough for extraverted/external processors to skip our enthusiastic memory barrage and get straight to the next question. Any tips on that front?

    I live with a pretty phenomenal question-asker. I love watching her in at functions, she usually finds the most interesting person in the room. She makes them such by quickly getting them talking about their passions and suddenly their conversations are lively and story-filled.

    So here’s my next question (s): Who helped you learn to be really good questioner?

    Reply

  5. davidmartinhanke
    July 2, 2013 @ 4:19 pm

    Erica, great questions. In terms of tips for getting to the next question, let me suggest that it is a ‘discipline.’ It’s walking into the conversation saying– I am going to ask more then I tell. It’s being comfortable with silence and waiting for the other person to answer.

    Full confession– I have become a good questioner because I am not very good at talking about myself. I find myself to be kind of boring. And I love the way people light up as I listen to their stories. I guess I quickly get bored with myself and find others more interesting.

    Some people are GREAT story tellers and they are so interesting to be around. I am not sure I am that person. But I am a great story elicitor. I think we need both. Thank God for interesting people!

    Reply

  6. Richard
    July 2, 2013 @ 11:09 pm

    ouch!

    Reply

  7. Steve B.
    July 3, 2013 @ 12:49 am

    Nice, David. I believe that most people want to relate to the conversation, so it becomes about “me.” Relating and being heard, or even an attempt to impress is important to many people – and we know who we are. I have learned through asking questions that silence is ok. Ask a question and wait for the response. There is no need to fill the void. Patience is a good tool. Thanks for writing about things that impact our daily lives.

    Reply

  8. Mary Ann
    July 5, 2013 @ 11:35 am

    Thanks David!! You have done us a great service by addressing one of the elephants in the room in our culture- Christian and otherwise.
    I think many people think they are good listeners but when it comes to actual conversation it can sometimes not be evidenced. ‘Cultivating the art of the question’ as someone has said is a worthwhile skill.
    I”m curious as to what prompted this post- did your listening capacity reach its limit?

    Reply

  9. davidmartinhanke
    July 5, 2013 @ 12:16 pm

    Ha! Great question Mary Ann. I have gotten several notes this week from people who asked– is this about me?? And the answer is, ‘no’. I am not very reactionary in my blog posts or sermons. I have ideas that I don’t write about for weeks or months. The more time I can mull them over, the better– like spaghetti sauce.

    That said, I think this is a topic in which I can keep growing. In order to understand how the story of Jesus impacts the lives of people, I need to listen to lots of stories from people. I want to ask good questions and hear good stories.

    I love the idea of Restoration being a place where we are ‘cultivating the art of the question.’

    Reply

  10. Jeff Walton
    July 10, 2013 @ 11:37 am

    Arlington question: were the pancakes gluten free?

    Reply

  11. Recovering non-question asker
    July 10, 2013 @ 6:28 pm

    Did you finish the puzzles? How many pieces made up each puzzle? How do you involve every child in that? Do they each get their own 100 piece?

    Reply

  12. Recovering non-question asker
    July 10, 2013 @ 6:30 pm

    Ditto Jeff’s Question + how do your kids like pancakes? Did you make them all by yourself? Did your kids help?

    Reply

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